And I Must Away

Surely this way out is the most reasonable?

Who's not to say solace won't be found after this? At least I'm certain I'll be out of harm's way, away from pressure, sadness, guilt and oh the grief that has kept me awake crying buckets.

She fleetingly recalled a saying; hope deferred makes the heart sick and as she steadied her balance, she shrugged off the incessant inner voice.

'You're selfish' it went on, she shut her eyes tightly as though to erase what was deeply etched in her mind- engraved and unmoving.

But I want to be free, she found herself saying out loud. She fell into deeper thought, as her left hand lovingly caressed her tummy. She couldn't help but feel a deeper sense of loss, loss of a great life her child could have possibly had.

'You're selfish' said that voice again. She shut her eyes and shook her head mentally as if to erase any second thought.

Come on now, you've thought this over for weeks unending, you know it's the only way-out another voice echoed.

Shut up you two! She let out what sounded like a screech. She crouched on the stool, covering her ears crying hysterically.

Few minutes later as her wailing reduced to quiet sobs, she rocked back and forth on her heels, arms wrapped around her knees, trying to  draw strength from within.

She thought about events that led to her current state of delirium. As her breathing slowed to a normal tempo, she reached for her makeup purse, to powder her Nose.

I'll go out slaying and not look as I feel inside, that's unfit for a Queen- she thought to herself, laughing dryly.

She tucked some hair strands in place, smoothed the creases on her dress and checked the Noose was a-okay.
There she muttered under her breath, it's time.

It was just around sunset so she waited and as she caught the last glimpse of ray, she smiled wryly, closed her eyes...

Peace at last. 

Song Posts: ♫ Lazarus-  David Bowie ♫ et 

♫ Exit Wounds-  The Script ♫

- By SporadicWriter